Stages of Human Development

I don’t understand where things are going.

I guess that’s being old, realizing what you don’t know. And what you didn’t know even when you thought you knew it all.

And I knew that, that’s been explained literally to me before, in many forms. “Go out and fix the world now while you’re young and still know everything.”, I thought it was pretty insulting the first time somebody used it on me, but the way all the adults laughed it must have resonated so I let it sit. And eventually I even came to understand it,  I met older people and they were wiser than me. I listened to older people who maybe I didn’t think were wiser than me, and it turned out they had lives and adventures and stories too that certainly did not fit in the mold of what I expected. I read about people who thought they were wiser than everybody and how their plans for how to fix humanity went and boyee there’s a big reminder that whatever you think you know; you know jack shit about people. The results or logically derived programs were definitely not what was scientifically/logically expected. So there was something to this. More {time as human} more {knack at humanitific behavior}. It was not a science but a soft skill. But I still understood it to be a linear progression.

Credit for all below images to this EXTRAORDINARILY CREEPY website.

You can also visit the subsection on Legal Risks here.

Make sure you run that past a lawyer before you start using any advice given there.

So this is human development.



So basically you start off here, as a little slug thing, right and you’re basically nothing, Sorry Amanda R, when you are there you’re like a colon polyp with the ability to sense bright lights.


And then you turn here into like a little baby and everybody knows little babies don’t know shit. I don’t remember being a little baby so I assume I knew nothing just like everybody else. Like you know how to fart and snuggle and know what your favorite person smells like and eventually you graduate to “whoa we gotta keep this thing in a crate when we’re not paying attention” so you’re basically a weaning labradoodle, again, we can assume you know nothing aside from how to root out snacks when they’re nearby.


Look at these two assholes. You wouldn’t trust one of them to watch the other one right. NEXT.


These two guys are probably who I was when I first came to this understanding, that there was wisdom in age, and I could see the difference in body hair density well enough to understand maybe I wasn’t quite there yet. This is for sure when the “fix the world while you still know it all” was used on me the first time.


This next guy I didn’t really get because I didn’t know any of them when I was growing up and I only barely understand them now that I’m not one anymore. I do remember that this is peak “fix the world while you are still young and know it all” time, at least for me. This poor guy, he’s really in a rough part of life so we’ll leave him alone but sufficed to say, probably closer than I was when I adopted this theory of adulthood, but definitely not a “man”.


But these next two guys right they have it all figured out. Look at how short the curve is at the end of this thing there’s not much left so, that must be understanding. You look that shape you have that smell and now you know, you’ve hit the top of the hill and you can see very far.

I now realize dawning understanding is a mite crawling out of a skin pore. Your whole world is the labyrinth of that pores peaks and valleys, the microbial wars of its folds and abscesses which once loomed so large are now unremarkable, tame, downright friendly, compared to the vast, unfriendly immensity of the world. The unending mundanity of it. And each new peak you reach simply unveils new, terrifying, confusing layers that you had never comprehended before. And by the time you have gained enough conquest in the world to return to what you wanted when you were young, the world has changed. What you wanted is worthless. The life you lived was a series of compromises and crises that spit you out grey fringed and rheumy eyed and visibly dimished.


But man have you had a long time to think about those compromises. And those crises. And seen others make them. And I suppose that is what we call wisdom.