If it cost me these eight years to get where I am now, then it was worth it. It was worth every night of loneliness, it was worth every moment of awkwardness.
I finally feel that I have come into my own.
Scott Adams talked about “being good at being 42” on his blog, and I can certainly understand what he meant. I think I was a really poor 20 year old. I certainly didn’t do well into my mid 20’s, and only in my late 20’s did I feel like I was making sense, like I had become comfortable in my own skin and was beginning to enjoy the act of being. Now at 30, I feel more comfortable with myself than ever, and like I’m making progress. Each day feels a little closer to a life well lived. There are problems, of course, there are struggles. There are times when I’m lazy and don’t take care of myself. But I no longer feel like I’m permanently mired in some cultural wasteland that I can’t decipher. I feel normal, though outside opinions on that are still mixed. I feel like I have a social life, I feel like I have options. I feel like, despite my failures, I am still moving forward – My life is converging around me.
So thank you, Portland. Thank you OurPDX, and thank you Legion of Tech. Thank you DIYStories and thank you Backfence. And thank you Twitter. And thank you Google Talk and AIM and Diaryland and WordPress and thank you, all of you, who are part of my life. You don’t know how much you mean to me, each and every one of you.