The Black Heart New Year’s Meme

I didn’t see this earlier but I think I should do it for laughs.

1. Did you have sex in 2008?

Not with other people.

2. If you can count all of your 2008 lovers on your available appendages, please list them here.

I can always count on one appendage to be a lover.
The other is a little clumsy but subs in sometimes.
My feet I can’t get up there.

3. Would you sleep with these people again? Why or why not?

Yes, because I don’t think I have much of a choice.

4. Did you sleep with any of your friends?

Have you even been paying attention?

5. What countries did you have sex in?

Multnomah and Maricopa (Or maybe it was Pima?) I was kind of on the Freeway at the time.
Oh, you said Countries not counties. The United States of America. USA! USA!

6. What sexual toys or tricks would you like to use in 2009 that you didn’t in 2008?

Is “ANY OF THEM” an OK answer?

7. What sexy date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Uhhh…

8. What was your biggest sexual achievement of the year?

I didn’t get HIV for the 29th consecutive year. Oh, wait, except for the one Brad gave me.

9. What was your biggest sexual failure?

Seriously just go back and read the other answers.

10. Did you suffer any STIs or sex-related injuries?

I was afraid I got some RSI in my wrist but it turned out I just slept on it wrong.

11. What was the sexiest thing you bought?

My Ecco shoes.

12. Whose bedroom behaviour merited celebration?

I’m gonna say… Colin Powell

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My EeePC 1000H

14. What song will always remind you of getting it on in 2008?

Viktor Vaughn – Bloody Chain

15. What do you wish you’d done more of in the bedroom?

Not worrying about money

16. What do you wish you’d done less of in the bedroom?

Working

17. Did you fall in love (or lust) in 2008? With whom/how many times?

Absolutely. Dozens of times.

18. How many one-night stands?

I don’t think you can go negative numbers on this, so zero.

19. What was your favourite sex-scene in a TV show or movie?

When George Clooney shows Frances McDormand his home made sex chair in Burn After Reading.
Bill and Sookie in True Blood was close.

20. What was the sexiest book you read?

Generation Kill. Which is my way of saying, not too many sexy books in 2008.

21. How did you celebrate V-day or Steak and Blowjob Day?

As I recall, I got blackout drunk at the house and drunk-tweeted some personal details.

22. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more sexually satisfying?

… I’m gonna say another person participating.

23. How would you describe your personal sexual style in 2008?

Ineffective?

24. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Anna Paquin in True Blood

25. Tell us about a sexy lesson you learned in 2008.

It’s not if you win or lose, it’s if you play the game.

4 thoughts on “The Black Heart New Year’s Meme

  1. “It’s not if you win or lose, it’s if you play the game.” beautiful, words to live by. especially for sexless midgets who belong to holy orders.

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