I was at DIYStories and was inspired to tell this one, but I thought it would be fun to expand it a little here.
Being somewhat socially dysfunctional in High School, and being friends with many other social retards, my dating life was… incestuous. Everyone ended up dating someone’s ex, mostly because you didn’t have to introduce yourself, and since they were previously dating your friends, you were probably on the same social strata.
I’d like to talk about Jill. Jill was a redhead, skinny, gorgeous, alabaster skin. Daniel dated her in junior high school. She was his first… well, his first most everything, to hear him tell it. Their breakup was messy, and much later, when he and I had kind of drifted apart, she kind of found a place in my heart.
Chris was my best friend. Very, very close. We spend, for most of Junior High and, really for most of High School, in constant contact. We went to the mall, we hung out, we were friends seven days a week.
And then his dad hit him. It wasn’t the first time, I don’t really know if it was the last. But it was significant, and suddenly, we were living together. My parents took him in and he lived in our house for a lot of our Senior Year.
So one day, the three of us… Jill, Chris, and I, went hiking. I don’t even remember how it started, I don’t remember who instigated it, but I do remember it was like a dream come true.
We got in Jill’s car, and drove up to Sedona, and so began one of the most fun days I’ve ever had. We got lost, we got wet, we were broke, we were young, and we were getting along famously. After a long day of hiking, laughing, eating, and stolen glimpses of strawberry-print panties (!), we were driving home. Jill at the wheel, me in the passenger seat, Chris snoring in the back. You could have cut the hormones with a knife.
Jill leans over, looking back at Chris to make sure he’s asleep.
My hardon could have bent steel.
She grabs my hand.
She says, “I have a secret…”
I might have orgasmed RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT.
She looks me in the eye….
“I’m going to kiss Chris tonight.”
If I were thinking clearly, I would have thrown myself out of the car. But I was _that_ disarmed. It was such an unexpected thing for her to say, I think my brain shut off. Maybe I lost control of my bowels. Who knows. I kind of blacked out. I know we got home. I know the two of them got together.
And here’s the other thing I know.
I know that on Monday, Jill ran over to talk to me as soon as Chris was gone.
I know that she told me I needed to go wash the blanket on my couch.
I know that she looked like she had seen something confusing.
I know that she had a new secret.
She bent close to my ear.
She whispered it so quietly.
“Chris is a premature ejaculator”