Things I’ve learned about Oregon

Here’s a short list of things I’ve learned about Oregon.

“Rain” on the weather forecast means it’s going to rain. Not hard, not monsoon, just rain. All day.

“Showers” on the weather forecast means it’s going to rain. Not hard, not monsoon, just rain. All day.

“Chance of Showers” on the weather forecast means it’s going to rain. Not hard, not monsoon, just rain. All day. It might stop for ten or twenty minutes.

“10% Chance of Precipitation” on the weather forecast means it’s going to rain. Not hard, not monsoon, just rain. Most of the day. Probably won’t rain in the morning.

“Cloudy” on the weather forecast means it’s probably going to rain. Just a couple little sprinkles.

What I’d like to know how is how in the fuck it’s supposed to go from 50F (10C) and raining to 85F (30C) fucking degrees and clear in 48 hours. I presume this will come with a sudden clap of thunder and the magenta flare of an old one prying his way into this realm through a rough-edged hole punched in reality, as we all cry our now melted frontal lobes out in tribute. Cthulhu fhtagn! Aiee.

One thought on “Things I’ve learned about Oregon

  1. I actually figure that there’s going to be some boiling point of Christian fervor, ironically over global warming, which causes their bodies to not quite combust.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.