So, despite the fact that my lazy ass failed to send a gift to Canada until it was too late to conceivably be there for Christmas, Brad sent me the gift of HIV.

Who knew that the cause of AIDS was so adorable and soft? No wonder it’s an epidemic that has ravaged the sexual revolution since I was old enough to have hair on my bad place.

This will, of course, end up in my cubicle at work, to make the folks there wonder. I am Mr. Passive Agressive Co-Worker.