Speaking of RSS feeds which are making a weekly creep for unsubscribedville, let’s talk about Life Hacker.
About a year ago, I was looking at Make magazine (which is about 20% cream, 80% crap) and Instructables (which is about 10% cream, 90% crap) and found some references to Life Hacker. The super l33t proxy at work picked up the word “hacker” in the URL and categorized it as “Blocked : Criminal Skills” but I decided to check it out at home. It was pretty good stuff. Make a $5 pen into a $100 pen. Couple of great pieces of software (if you’re using Windows and not using Launchy or some other shortcut macro type thing, you’re missing out). Some website help (specifically WordPress plugins that I use to this day). In all, a great site. Totally subscribed. A while back, they (along with the rest of Gawker) got on some serious search engine optimization shit and fucked up their site pretty good, lots of self-referencing posts and tag keyword shit, but it was OK, I started using Yahoo! Pipes to filter the crap out (Roundups, a year ago, the ‘quick hits’ and a series of other retarded stuff), and I was back to happy again. Lately though, I’ve run into… problems.
You see, you can filter nonsense fluff posts out, “best comments” and the like. But you can’t filter out totally fucking worthless advice (unless they started tagging it, Lifehacker, if you are listening, just start tagging your really lame posts with “lamezor”). Here are a couple of real honest to god posts and notable quotes from Lifehacker recently.
“Write Specific To-Dos for your Future Self”
“Do the Most Important Task First”
“Use a rubber band to keep an apple fresh”
“Send documents as PDF rather than fax”
“Temporarily attach documents with a staple”
“Silence noisy velcro with duct tape”
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU.
Who in this day and fucking age doesn’t know that a PDF is better than a fax. Or the staple article, which was even MORE retarded than the title (no mean feat), as it required a old fashioned stapler to make work. Do the most important task first? What the hell is wrong with you? Did someone suddenly disappear Common Sense? Drag it down an alleyway and beat it with a sock full of rubberbanded apples?
Here’s a couple suggestions for future lifehacker articles.
“Legs tired? Sit in a chair instead for a quick medical hack.”
“Use a heavy rock or brick in place of a hammer.”
“If your eyes are closing all by themselves, you might be tired. Naps are a quick cure.”
“Cold? Look for a blanket or some peat to crawl under.”
“Juggling doesn’t require expensive gear, regular fruit can substitute.”
“Use a telephone to communicate with people far away instead of walking to them.”
“Productivity Time! Start working now and stop when tasks are complete.”
“Sandwiches are a big time saver because you don’t have to touch the meat with your hands.”