HB 1024 : ‘Putting Down the Boxer Rebellion’

I can only assume that the meeting leading to this went something like:

“Anybody have any new business? Yes, Mr. Smith.”

“Hey, I don’t like… you know. Seeing people who aren’t like me. You know what I mean?”

“I think we can all relate to that, certainly. (general laughter) But what do you mean specifically?”

“Well, for example. I was walking down the street, and there was a young person who seemed to have a cultural identity that was different than mine, I mean, entirely different. He didn’t watch CNN at all, he didn’t like mayonnaise on sandwiches, you could just tell… What I’m trying to say is… uh.”

“You mean, a young urban american, for example.”

“Correct, yeah, a bla… urban kid. And it just rubbed me the wrong way. Why do they have to be like that? Why do they have to dress differently than me and I was just thinking that maybe we could make a law against them. To prevent my kids from doing it too.”

“Well, we can’t make laws against them, we tried that and people just got all bent out of shape.”

“Shit… well, can’t we make laws against stuff they do?”

“Like crimes? I mean, I’m pretty sure we’ve got laws against crimes.”

“No, like… I dunno. Hanging out with their friends.”

“Yeah, but we’d have to do it for everyone, even whi… uh. non-urban kids.”

“Shit… let’s see. How about the clothes, can we make work boots illegal?”

“No, contractors wear those all the time and we can’t go against the unions. We need something where we are just targeting the nigg… I mean… urban youth.”

“Huh… how about the baggy pants.”

“PERFECT!” (simultaneously)

I mean, really. It has the potential to catch on with elementary school kids? What does? Trying to impress your peers? Yeah, thank god that shit never happens since the gubment passed a law about it. All this is doing is CEMENTING the coolness of a thing. If you make it against the law, all you are doing is proving to young people that you have your head crammed firmly up your ass. “They don’t think it’s negative.” IT FUCKING ISN’T. It’s a fashion statement that when compared to young girls with thongs that say Wink Wink or any number of other fashion statements, is as harmful as hair dye and rock music, which, as we all know now, didn’t fucking stop the earth from spinning any more than the horseless carriage or blood transfusions between the races.

Six months in fucking jail for exposing underwear. I just wish they’d come out and fucking say it. “We’re trying to punish niggers for attempting to differentiate themselves”. Then I’d have no problem with the law. They could call it the “2007 Anti-Nigger Underwear initiative” or maybe “CI-724 – The ‘Scared White’ Law”. At least the people would know what they were getting.

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