The Bloggers Code of Somethingorother

You know… I miss the time when normal people weren’t on the internet. When it was all weird porn thieves and twelve year olds with no facial hair who believe they have some kind of special martial arts prowess hidden beneath their zits and mumbling… it was better.

For one simple reason.

I could insult someone without ten people trying to fucking psychoanalyze it.

You see, at that time, I would say “Maybe you’re just a weenie”, and then the guy would go “IF I KNEW WHERE YOU WAS I WOULD STAB YOU WITH MY KATANA SWORD THEN WHO WOULD BE THE WEENIE” and then I’d say something about his mom and then somebody would call me Hitler, or worse than Hitler, or say I had sex with Hitler. Something. Then we’d go back to stealing things and masturbating until the next time somebody decided it would be fun to pick on someone else.

Now, it’s all different. I get some kind of schlocky counseling with people talking about how moderators might not understand what I meant by it and how perhaps there was some more civil tone that I might have meant it in. Which is all incorrect. I mean that the person, by and large, might possibly be a large, flaccid, anthropomorphic penis, meandering around all day piddling drips of urine here and there, and that perhaps, if his mother hadn’t breast fed him until he was ten, he could have curly hairs around his base now.

Before, if I said something unpopular, it would just be deleted if the other person had enough sway to get it done. Now, we all have to analyze why I said it, think about the system that allowed me to say it, see if we can create a sort of post-creation council that will approve or deny the concept of my message before allowing me to write it, then sign off on it when it’s done. I got a note from a moderator because I used the term “blowjob” in a post, because it was offensive. What the fuck? I don’t find blowjobs offensive. I don’t think anyone should find them offensive. Unless you were attacked by a penis at some point, where it tried to choke you to death, or steal your tonsils or something.

Seriously though, folks… Next time someone insults you, go ahead and insult them back. It’s what they want, and it gets shit out of the way a lot faster than this psychoanalysis bullshit.

2 thoughts on “The Bloggers Code of Somethingorother

  1. I understood the full intent of your comment, if that makes you feel any better. (Notice how I didn’t jump in on the meta gangbang either).

    I also took note of how — in a subsequent response — your remark was called out for being “pithy”. Is there any other kind?

    I hope this earns me some street cred.

  2. I actually haven’t followed much of the result since the first time I took a peek at it, because man… That was some deep, dark “it gazes into you” kind of shit. I just checked it out and it didn’t go as long as I had thought it would, say-thank-ya-jahayzus.

    Meanwhile, go back to pan frying pomfret or making kimchi so I can have more meta foodgasms from your site, even though I don’t like lemongrass.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.