Why Windows Vista Won’t Suck?

Computer news sites have a long and beautiful history, ranging from utter filth to merely readable tripe. One of my least favorite rags has a new article entitled, modestly, Why Windows Vista Won’t Suck. It is a veritable treasure trove of kissy faces made at Bill Gates, lauding every single minor change as wonderful, and even harping mightily about a couple of “features” that I would just as soon had been left in the obviously hungover morning haze of the project manager who jokingly mentioned them in the first place.

Notably, Superfetch.

From the article : “SuperFetch also takes advantage of external memory devices—plug in that spare 256MB USB key (any size will work, really) and Windows can cache a lot of the working set to it. It’s not as fast as your system RAM, but it’s much faster than randomly grabbing small bits of data from all over your hard drive.”

Whoa there, wang gobbler. What the hell is this? I’m going to go out on a limb here and wager that there are better ways to do this. While I’m amused at the concept that sustained read speed from a piece of flash media is competitive with regular reads and writes to the hard drive, I am not convinced that this is the answer. I can just see the tagline now. “Windows Vista – You loved memory management under XP — Now we’ll mismanage all KINDS of storage!”

And I find this to be fun : “The built-in firewall in Vista is much more robust than the one included in XP Service Pack 2.”

Yeah, well so was the backout plan for Iraq. My favorite moments are when XP firewall pops up to warn me about a program communicating on the interweb, giving the option to keep blocking, and I can watch the program as it successfully performs both inbound and outbound operations to the internet at the same time. There is a kind of resigned sensation knowing that this is the level of security that they felt the ability to brag about and release as a solution. Not exactly a tall order to have something better than that in place.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Windows Vista has a lot of features that I’m sure will be great, but I am very concerned about the level of OPERATING SYSTEM hardware requirements. This whole 3D surface desktop thing is wondermous I’m sure, but it seems like they’re taking the “Hardware vendors will create devices capable of handling this eventually” path on it, instead of creating a scalable environment, capable of being run on Joe Sixpack computers without super-whizbang video cards in them. I am just not convinced that even two years from now the 90% of computer users out there who still refer to the monitor as the computer and “mash on that left click” will have DX9x256M video cards, which will only have _passable_ performance in the operating system. Lame.

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